The surprising blessing and curse of Wanting it all (now!)


Enjoying the privilege of sharing a dinner table with talented, successful and beautiful women quickly helped me witness a fascinating desire many of us have: wanting it all… at the same time... and right here and now.

For many of us,

these complex layers have gradually built up and influenced our judgement in various ways since early childhood. For the ambitious and highly achievement-based people amongst us, when vast opportunities meet internal confusion and external expectations, we can easily try to have, do and be it all for ourselves and others.

We are persuaded to be highly successful at work; have the perfect relationship; parent in a particular way; travel the world; frequent the gym to sculpt our bodies; nurture that happy family of ours; use the latest gadgets; or spend time at the spa and style ourselves into perfection.

This ‘you can have and be it all’ mantra is imprinted on us to such an extent that some feel like a failure if they don’t live like Superwoman. Striving to ‘do it all’ is not only encouraged, but expected, ironically from those who are far along in achieving all of the above and more. The pressure becomes unbearably strong. We feel like we have to maintain the bar we have set for ourselves while staying accountable to the expectations we have created in others about who we are.

Even if we were to confidently do it all, the inevitable question will surely arise… ‘What to do next?’ This is the catch. When we strive to be Superwoman, there will always be another goal to accomplish; another way in which we can put in a little more effort, a little more time, and a little more ‘oomph’ that will make us even better.

So how do we cleanse ourselves from the unrealistic notion that we can have and be it all?

Here are 5 steps to start with:




Avoid familiar patterns



It’s likely that when you start to connect with your inner voice and feel more comfortable with taking heart-based action, lots of options will come up, especially if you’re multi-passionate and interested in many things. It’s so important that you don’t go back to the old habit of reinstating the consuming need to do and be everything for everyone.

There is a time for everything. Sometimes life is about advancing in your career. Sometimes it’s about nesting, loving, and enjoying. Sometimes it’s about learning the tough lessons in life and focusing on self-development.

The depth of an experience can be truly fulfilling, but it requires focus. And focus means you simply cannot do all at the same time. Trust your gut about what you most need in any given stage or moment in your life. This takes obsession away from checklists and linear ladders and brings you into an infinitely more joyful flow and dance with life as you grow, evolve and change.

Nurturing a deep trust that everything you need will come your way and developing the confidence and self-esteem that you are good the way you are, will make this step much easier.