5 self-care rituals to elevate your day
HEIDI’S JOURNAL ENTRY | 031
5 SELF-CARE RITUALS to ELEVATE your DAY
Self-care sounds very easy in theory, but it's a real challenge for many people to put into practice. I observe this with my own clients, in people around me, and of course I remember the many years I struggled to truly look after myself.
Self-care is about valuing who we are and what we need, and gifting ourselves the love or attention we often freely give to others.
Although rationally, this sounds easy and desirable, self-care often forces us to grapple with the heaver question of do I think I’m worth it? The answer to this is closely linked to our inner belief systems related to self-image – to who we think we are. Or who we are currently allowing ourselves to be.
Are your seeing yourself as the saviour to your boss? Servant to your children? Entertainer to your partner? Emotional garbage can for your circle of friends?
Admittedly, this is a provocative line of questioning. But often the extremes are many people's realities, and looking to them helps us to recognise where we've become desensitised to all the big and tiny ways we’ve been neglecting ourselves.
When we don’t intervene in our own lack of self-care, we become at high risk of running out of steam and experiencing emotional, physical or spiritual burnouts, or sudden declines in health. This shouldn't surprise as, because when we think about it rationally, of course there will be consequences to putting of our body's needs for years in a row.
And yet, it often does come a massive wake-up call. This was certainly the case for me when I experienced the health concerns that led me to transform so many areas of my life and career.
But while this low-point brought about the major shift that I desperately needed, it's important to remember:
We don't need (or want!) to hit rock-bottom in order to make the positive changes we need to thrive.
5 SIMPLE but powerful CHOICES you can make to feel BETTER NOW.
1.
Know what you need in body, mind & spirit
Consider 5 things you need daily and what 5 things you need weekly in order to feel at your best. To stimulate your own creativity, I will give you a few examples from my own life. For me it is very important to enjoy a warm breakfast and to have a few moments of peace before I start my day.
For my emotional balance, nice music and regular exercise help me a lot. These are just a few suggestions. Finding out what you need to feel at your best might time time, practice and some trial and error. You might also find it easier to get to what you DO need, by recognising what you DON’T.
2.
Learn what brings you joy
Make a list of 10 simple things that bring you joy. Think of things that are pretty easy to access or integrate into your everyday life.
If you haven’t allowed yourself much time or space to connect with what feels good, this exercise can be hard. Start small, and add to the list over time. If joy feels like too big a word, just consider what makes you feels good. This could be as simple as making your lunch look beautiful on the plate.
3.
Be a queen of mini-breaks!
I don’t mean weekend getaways (unless you want to!) but small moments to breathe and reconnect with yourself between daily tasks and appointments.
Even if that just means taking a minute to breathe or stretch, or allowing yourself more time with a cup of tea, consciously completing things before starting another massively helps to prevent overwhelm and feel more grounded and ‘slow’.
4.
Honour what is & isn't your responsibility
What is your job to do / be / take care of and what is NOT? Focus on the former and release control of the latter.
Feeling responsible for everything is a fast route to stress, disappointment and a lack of self-care. Get honest with yourself about where you are trying to take on too much of what isn’t yours to handle. A hint: consider what is out of your control or when it comes to work, literally not your job!
5.
Live in alignment with your capacity
Our capacity is essentially what we have the energy or ability to complete without draining ourselves. So many of us have been conditioned to override our capacities all of the time. This might be our physical capacity, such as overdoing it to the point where our body hurts or we get sick. It might be our energetic capacity, such as working while exhausted or needing an endless stream of caffeine in order to get a task done.
Another example is our emotional capacity, where we might stay in relationships where we feel bad about ourselves, or be emotional supports to others at the cost of our own wellbeing. A massive part of self-care is connected to honouring our capacities. Reflect on where you might be overriding your own, and what choices you can make in order to bring yourself closer into balance.
I hope these 5 tips help you to start or deepen your self-care practices. Remember to take note of that last word – practice! This means two things:
1) Self-care isn't theory or for some time in the future, we need to put it into practice to make it count.
(But)
2) We don’t need to be perfect. Don’t be hard on yourself if you ‘mess up’. Simply choose again and remember that changing behaviour takes time!
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Self-care sounds very easy in theory, but it's a real challenge for many people to put into practice. I observe this with my own clients, in people around me, and of course I remember the many years I struggled to truly look after myself.